The Strange Secret Of Your Possessions

It is a truth, occasionally acknowledged, that a person in possession of five new things will never use four of them.

But, friend, it’s not exactly as you think.

It’s like this you see: when the clouds drift with just the right drift and the moonlight shines with just the right shine, possessions become alive. Not alive as you and I are alive but alive like coral or a Venus flytrap.

Possessions, you see — most of them — become bashful and emit a repellent which convinces you you’re convinced you want to use something else. This is how they remain out of view. Now you know this, you can do one of two things: build a secret lab in a dormant island volcano to find a cure (it’s been tried).

Or, gather money as if to buy your next five things. Instead (⅘ths of which would normally go to waste) put ⅗ths into one envelope and ⅖ths into another. Seal the envelope and write ‘Treasure I forgot I had’ then put it in the least obvious hiding place. In the second, seal and write ‘A gift. Please buy something you’ve long wanted and something for a stranger,’ then give it to a loved one or stranger. With the final ⅕th, buy something you’ll truly treasure (and, with only one choice, you’re bound to use it in spite of your possessions’ bashfulness).

Last of all, set an alarm for one year’s time when the memory of these events has faded, with a reminder of your hiding place.

REPEAT as often as you would purchase 5 possessions.

As surely as the sun rises, a princely fortune will amass (and it will be yours). Strangers will long tell of the envelope gifted from a stranger. Soon whole towns will change and tomorrow’s history books will remark of the golden age of kindness that descended about now…

*Oh, did I mention: this wisdom was told to a stableboy a century and a half ago and (without giving too much away) what followed soon after were horseless carts, marshmallows and (eventually) flying cars.